I was a Gamer --Part II

In March 2011, something urged me to ask Sis about message she got from the church. She passed it to me and the message was the time is near, time for Christ. Deep in my heart, I fear it. I understand myself very well; I knew it then, I worship gaming—it became my second god. There was no way I would be saved if I stay this way.

I rushed and started to read bible randomly, prayed and asked God about what I have to do. I even tried to go to some churches but I never went to any church. Then, still in March 2011; I asked God about my second god—gaming, how to get away from it.    

“Delete the game.”

I didn’t believe it at first; I felt weird and started to laugh a little. A voice of nowhere just popped up in my heart.

“Delete the game.”

Ok, a voice in my heart asking me to delete the game. I sat on my bed, started to cry over it. I didn’t want to delete the game; it was such a harsh demand for me then. I bargained but there was no answer, it was a “command” not mere request.

Desperate, I came to my Sis and join her church for a Sunday. The message of that Sunday was a confirmation. The preacher delivered that we must throw away ourselves, everything that chained us. It would be a torture for your soul since there will be some emptiness. However, God will fill it! Don’t be afraid to let go, just trust in the Lord.

I need three weeks to completely stop playing and deleting game. Those three weeks are weeks full of tears and struggle, resulting of unstable state of mind. The hardest part was to say goodbye to my online friends, it was not an easy thing to do—I have no friends around me. Alas, what must be done is have to be done.    

 I sold my pc parts (I asked Albert to dissemble my pc). I thought it was enough, but I still hold my playstation. The images of playing game often loiter around in my mind and tortured me. I have to fight my desire to playing.

Finally, I sold my playstation as well. Leaving me with nothing I could use to return to the virtual world.

I felt like my journey is end and it makes me sad.

Still, I’ve done what I must do. I can only trust God to purify me and fill me with His glory.

Free from gaming addiction is my first step, I still have a long path to walk.